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If you reach back into the recesses of your brain and blow off the cobwebs, you might remember the term ‘symbiotic relationship’ from a biology class.
And if you’re really nerdy, you might recall facultative mutualism, where two parties don’t necessarily need each other, but both benefit from their interactions.
(Did I need to add that to the article? No. Could I help myself because it’s fun to say? Also, no.)
The relationship you have with your customers as a personal service provider works the same way: you don’t need each other, but you both sure as hell benefit when you work together.
Just as you know what you need to do to provide a great experience for your customers, your customers also have a hand in creating their own positive experiences.
And customers - no, bringing money to the table isn’t your only responsibility.

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This article is written directly for customers to help you understand your role in helping your personal service provider create the best customer experience.
Personal Service Providers—My hope is that this helps alleviate some of the anxiety and guilt you feel when you aren’t magically able to read a customer's mind and feel like it's all your fault. Yes, you have the larger responsibility of creating a great customer experience, but you can’t do that without active participation from your customers.
1. Be clear about what you’re looking for
Every service provider handles things a little differently.
What was included by your previous service provider may not be included by the next.
It may seem obvious to include something, but it’s better to be upfront and clear about what you’re looking for so your service provider can either adjust or meet your expectations as needed.
2. Read the information that’s provided to you
If your personal service provider gives you information, be sure to read it in full.
Your service provider created the information to help make your experience better, help you make decisions, know what to expect, and what actions you may need to take.
Personal service providers, your responsibility is to share only the information the customer needs, make it as easy to read as possible and deliver the information at the relevant time.
But customers - please read the information you’re given. Your questions are answered there 99% of the time.
3. Check your service provider’s policies
When done right, policies can improve your customer experience, set expectations, and create a more consistent experience for all customers.
They also exist to help guide your decision-making before hiring a service. You should be able to easily access information on returns and exchanges, cancellations, product/service warranties, and much more.
Please take the time to review them so you know exactly what to expect and whether the service you’re considering is the right fit for you. If you can't find the information, be sure to ask for it.
4. When in doubt, ask
Any personal service provider with an ounce of empathy will not laugh or judge you for asking a question - even if it is silly.
We’ve all asked a silly question or two in our lives.
Asking so you have the information you need to feel good about your decision is better than going forward with a service that you’re feeling edgy about because you don’t have all of the information you want or need.
5. Communicate clearly
Communication is an art, and art is sometimes subjective.
Everything from education level, cultural background, and mood can play into how something is shared or interpreted.
Do your best to communicate your needs clearly.
If you’re unsure or need reassurance that your service provider understood, ask. A good service provider will understand and appreciate your effort in making sure you’re both on the same page.
That said, give your service provider the benefit of the doubt if you interpret a piece of communication in a way that makes you unhappy or anxious. Ask for clarification or a simple, “Maybe I’m reading this wrong, but was this intended to sound _____?” if it’s really upsetting you.
6. Be honest
Whether you’re hiring cleaning services, hiring a tutor, or having work done at your house after you attempted to DIY something because it looked super easy on Pinterest - be upfront with your service provider about your situation.
A good service provider will handle it with tact, patience, and without judgment. If they don’t, then you can internally thank them for waving the red flag for you so you can look for another provider.
When you’re honest with your service provider, they can come in with the right tools and mindset and set aside the right amount of time to deliver the experience you’re looking to get.
7. Be patient
As a customer who is hiring a service, I’m betting that you understand that shit goes sideways sometimes.
Just as you expect flexibility when technology fails, a personal emergency comes up, someone gets sick, or the weather gets yucky - be prepared to offer the same grace as you’d expect to receive.
Service providers try their best to create backup plans to minimize any disruption to your service and communicate as they go. If something happens that couldn’t have been anticipated, they’re often building the plane as they fly, so to speak. Expect a little turbulence.
If you can be patient, they’ll land the plane safely. They may even give you some of those yummy cookies for being a good passenger, too.
8. Remember your humanity
Remember when you were in school, and then you’d see your teacher out in town?
Like, logically, you knew they were a real person with their own life and things to do, but it was fucking weird to see them out of that environment.
When we’re used to seeing someone in one context only, we almost forget that they’re human.
They become one-dimensional creatures that we expect to bury any human need or emotion in order not to inconvenience us.
When we create that “otherness” in our brains, we tend to lose some of our humanity, too.
We may be more quick to anger, judge, or react due to this.
Do your best to maintain your own humanity while interacting with your service providers. If you wouldn’t act or talk a certain way with a friend, then pause to consider if what you’re about to do or say is appropriate.
9. You’re in a partnership - no one is the boss
When you hire a service provider, you’ve entered into a mutually beneficial partnership.
The service provider isn’t your boss (they should act as a guide), and you’re not their boss.
If what you’re about to do or say isn’t something you’d allow a peer to do or say to you, then pause and rethink whether it’s appropriate.
10. Leave honest reviews
Reviews are a crucial tool for service providers to have in their tool belts.
It shows that people have hired us, how the job went, and what potential customers can expect.
Beyond that, it helps your service providers understand what parts of the experience and service are most impactful so they can hone their service - thereby creating a better future experience.
If you’re on the fence about writing a review because it wasn’t 100% perfect, write it anyway. Warts n’ all.
Believe it or not, a perfect 5-star review from every customer looks suspect. Potential customers are far more likely to trust an honest and balanced review.
If your experience had a wart or two and you mentioned it in the review, it allows your provider to publicly respond to show that even if things go sideways, they’ll be there for their customers.
11. Communicate changes in schedule
Give your personal service provider as much warning as possible.
Even if you think you might need to cancel or reschedule, letting your service provider know in advance allows them to make backup plans should you become unavailable.
Your service provider often has a lot of moving parts when providing your service. A last-minute change doesn’t just mean lost time, but it can interrupt their ability to provide you with a great experience.
12. Tell your friends and family
The best customers that personal service providers get often come from referrals from their existing awesome customers.
Not only will you make them feel good by recommending their services, but you’ll help ensure they stay in business longer and can continue to provide you with the best service and experience possible.
It’s simple—fewer customers or a need to intensely focus on customer acquisition means less income. Your personal service provider may have to find ways to keep costs down to stay afloat. This means they may have to sacrifice parts of the experience that you currently love.
If you love the service you’re being provided, shout that shit from the rooftops.
13. Take responsibility when appropriate
Taking responsibility is uncomfortable.
Trust me when I say it makes your personal service providers squirmy, too. When they have to take responsibility, it often hits more than their ego - it hits their bottom line and potentially their reputation.
Just as you would expect your personal service provider to take responsibility when a misstep happens, be prepared to do the same.
You’d be surprised at how often a business will accommodate or make adjustments when customers legitimately say, “Hey, I made a mistake here. I’m sorry about that.”
14. If you’re unhappy, let them know (respectfully)
What your personal service providers don’t know, they can’t fix.
If you’re dissatisfied with how something turned out or how your experience is going, let them know.
Just approach it respectfully, as you’d want them to do for you.
Be patient while you wait for a response if you communicate via text, email, or some other asynchronous channel. They may need a beat to process your feedback and shed the initial defensiveness we all get when we get constructive feedback.
It’s better to get a good but slower response than an ill-considered fast response.
THE BIG TAKEAWAY
Perhaps contrary to what customers believe, they have almost as much responsibility as the personal service provider they hire in creating a positive customer experience. What customers sometimes underestimate and underappreciate is that for every ounce of effort they put in, the personal service provider will want to deliver a pound in return.