Listen to the audio version.👆
As soon as I share my business name, Five Pineapples Consulting, I often get the hushed comment, “You do know pineapples represent swingers, right?”
It always makes me giggle, and the fact that there are five pineapples doesn’t really dissuade the swinger perception.
The original concept of Five Pineapples Consulting came from Southern hospitality. In the south, if there’s a pineapple on the porch, you know you can stop by for a nice visit.
In the swinging community, if there’s a pineapple on the porch, you know you can stop by for a nice…well, okay. Maybe there’s not that different.
But for the record, the pineapple is upside down for the swinger community.
Sexual proclivities aside, both communities have a lot in common when it comes to taking care of guests. There are a lot of lessons that you can implement in your business to make sure everyone leaves with a…happy ending, if you will.
WHY IT MATTERS:
There’s customer experience inspiration wherever you go, even in the most unsuspecting of places.
At the end of the day, what makes a great customer experience are the same things that make a great human experience. Southerners and swinger communities are famed for treating people well so they want to come back. There’s a lot more crossover than you may expect.
WHAT’S NEXT:
House Rules Are The Backbone of Great Customer Experiences
Etiquette Lessons from Hosts and Swingers
The Host Always Leads the Experience
Community Is Key on Porches and in Playrooms
Keep Them Coming Back: The Goal of Every Host and Business Owner
House Rules Are The Backbone of Great Customer Experiences
Whether the house is hosting dinner guests or playmates, it likely has rules or guidelines for participation.
As a business owner, you may not create rules like taking your shoes off at the door, but you should create ‘house rules’ that protect both your business and your customers.
Establish clear boundaries
One of the easiest ways to alleviate stress for guests (and customers) is to establish clear boundaries.
Dinner guests may be told that the upstairs is off-limits, and swinger party guests may be told not to bring electronic devices.
For your business, you may only communicate via certain hours and in certain channels.
It’s not rude to set clear boundaries - it creates an easier-to-navigate experience.
Anything other than an enthusiastic yes is a no
Perhaps the number one rule in the swinger community - no means no, and anything other than an enthusiastic yes is a no.
This mindset should be taken just as seriously in your business.
Whether selling your service to a potential customer or asking for a decision - if they’re not enthusiastically set on their decision, it’s time to stop and figure out what’s happening instead of forging ahead.
Not following this rule will get you blacklisted.
Health and hygiene is non-negotiable
Don’t be the host who doesn’t wash their hands before putting your hands on food or…anywhere else.
If you offer any sort of in-person personal service, you have health and hygiene responsibilities. That may mean wearing covers over your shoes before going into someone’s home so you don’t track in yucky stuff or not coming in when you’re sick.
Make expectations clear
There’s nothing more embarrassing than showing up in a sexy bunny costume when the party’s dress code was casual.
Do your customers a favor and set clear expectations for what, when, and how everything works with your service.
Safety first
This doesn’t just mean creating a physically safe environment. It means doing your part to ensure a mentally, emotionally, and digitally safe environment, too.
This also means giving your customers the information and tools they need to help maintain a safe environment—wherever that may be.
Be discrete and protect privacy
At swinger parties, what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors.
No one would feel comfortable attending a party when they heard a rumor that Bob was getting hot and heavy with Tom while his wife watched.
While you may not be protecting that sort of information, customers need to know that any information you become privy to stays with you only unless they give your permission.
Etiquette Lessons from Hosts and Swingers
Etiquette is cultural, but the etiquette lessons below remain true across cultures. Now, how you apply them may be different depending on where you live, you can’t go wrong with these.
Be kind and polite
You don’t have to call someone ‘Sir’ to be polite (unless you’re into that sort of thing).
Telling someone something difficult is the kind thing to do, but not always the nice one.
If super bubbly and smiley isn’t your vibe, that doesn’t mean you’re not kind or polite.
Anyone visiting the South knows the most brutal insults are said with a smile on their face and a sweet voice. Bless your heart.
The best way to be kind and polite is to be honest, be transparent, communicate clearly, and do it in a way that’s authentic to you.
Say thank you (and mean it)
It ain’t Southern hospitality without showing appreciation and thanking people.
If someone does business with you, genuinely thank them. The odds are they had more than one option to choose from, and they chose you.
You may not be the type to verbally thank someone, but it’s important to find a way to clearly express gratitude.
When people feel appreciated and valued, they’re more likely to come back.
Respect personal space
Respecting someone’s personal space is much more than just their physical space.
It can mean not prying into areas of their life they haven’t offered to share.
It can mean being very careful how you handle the information they share with you.
It can mean taking extra steps to not create mess or damage in their home or with items they leave in your care.
Give your customers the freedom to share what they’re comfortable with, when they’re comfortable sharing it, and stop when they’ve clearly drawn a boundary—even if it’s unspoken.
It’s about showing curiosity without crossing into nosiness, offering help without overstepping, and knowing that sometimes, silence is the most respectful response.
Be respectful of their time
Have you ever had to desperately look for a way out of a conversation and had to pull the, “Whelp, I better get going, those kids aren’t going to feed themselves” with a knee slap?
It’s easy to get caught up in conversation or to take your time in delivering a service. Pausing for friendly chit-chat or taking a slower pace with a service may be okay occasionally, but be mindful. Don’t pull a Midwestern Goodbye.
The Host Always Leads the Experience
Everyone has a set of responsibilities with every human interaction. However, when you’re the one hosting, you shoulder a bit more responsibility.
Set the tone
Imagine being invited to a party (take your pick as to which kind) and you knock on the door.
How the host shows up for that moment when they open the door sets the tone for the rest of the evening.
If they open the door grumpy and gruffly tell you to take your shoes off so you don’t make a mess in the house, then you’ll likely feel awkward and have your guard up for the remainder of the evening. You’d look for a reason to leave early and would likely avoid going to another party if invited.
In an alternate universe, this same host opens the door and is excited to see you. Tells you to come in, asks to take your coat, and offers you a drink. Entirely different mood that gives momentum to the rest of the night.
If you want customers who are excited to work with you, then set the tone of being excited to work with them.
Create the right environment
The best way to influence behavior is by providing an environment that supports the type of behavior you want to see.
If you want guests to relax, then you choose furniture that makes it easy for people to sink into, a blanket draped over the arm of a chair, and accessible snacks and drinks.
Just as you set the tone when you start engaging with your customers, the environment you create should support that tone. If you travel to your customers, the environment you create is through communication, how you dress, how you send deliverables, and anything else that your customers may interact with that’s related to your service.
Help guests feel at home
If you drop in to visit with a Southerner, you may very well be told to make yourself at home. They want you to feel relaxed and to use any amenities without needing to ask.
When you’re delivering your service, you may be the literal guest, but your customer is a guest in your business. Look for opportunities to help customers feel “at home” when they’re with you.
In the context of performing services, helping customers feel “at home” is focused on helping them feel relaxed and comfortable during the process. It can also mean keeping an open-door policy where they know they can ask about anything, good or bad, without fear of a negative reaction.
Take responsibility for the experience
Perhaps the most important aspect of being a host is making things right when things go wrong.
Imagine a glass of wine gets knocked over and stains a guest’s shirt. Whether it’s your fault or not, it affects your guest’s experience.
If it’s someone else’s fault, you could say, “Be more careful next time!” and leave it at that or you could jump up to help with whatever means you have available.
Even if you can’t fix it, the act of trying makes a bummer moment a better overall experience.
Things won’t always be your fault, but your customer’s experience is still your responsibility.
Community Is Key on Porches and in Playrooms
If there is one thing you can be sure of is that people don’t like to leave communities that they enjoy.
When businesses actively participate in their community and help others thrive in it, they tend to be more successful and are often thought of more fondly.
Encourage Connection
Southerners and swingers are both known for creating an atmosphere for people to naturally meet and foster relationships.
From line dances to not-single-but-ready-to-mingle cocktail parties, there are opportunities for people to deepen connections.
But what does this look like for a personal service provider?
(Parenthetical - given the context of this article, I’m now realizing how dirty ‘personal service provider’ sounds. I may need to rethink I refer to my type of clients. Anywho… 😅 )
This could be keeping a list of other service providers you recommend for your customers.
It could be staying up to date on the best places to go and for things to do.
It could mean introducing people who share a hobby.
Or maybe you do a get-together every quarter and invite your customers.
Find a way that feels authentic to you, but encouraging connections can help boost customer experience.
Be Inclusive
There’s a lid for every pot.
Well, except for my pots because most of the lids are missing.
But in the swinger community, you’ll see a wide variety of people. From different body shapes and sizes, ethnicities, to preferences. As long as you’re respectful and follow the house rules, you’re welcome.
The same should be true in your business. As long as customers are respectful and follow your house rules, be inclusive of the wonderfully wide and weird variety of people that there are. When people feel safe and included, they’re going to have a much better experience.
Celebrate Together
Southerners love a reason to celebrate. Whether you graduated college, got married, bought a house, or had a baby, you’ll probably have food dropped off in droves. Just remember to give back the Tupperware.
One of the open secrets of great customer experience is to amplify positive moments. When your customers have something exciting happen, celebrate with them. Be genuinely excited. Send a handwritten card to congratulate them.
Having someone share in your joy creates a core memory that can overshadow little hiccups in your service.
Keep Them Coming Back: The Goal of Every Host and Business Owner
There’s good customer experience and then there’s “holy shit, that was amazing” customer experience.
If you want to nail the latter, then take note of these lessons from Southern hospitality and the swinger community.
Balance Your Energy
You can’t be with everyone and do everything at once.
Know yourself well enough to know where you show up best, how to pace yourself, and how to give yourself what you need so you can show up as your best self where it matters most.
So, ya know, stay hydrated and stuff.
Be charming
Charm comes in a lot of flavors - not just the typical smooth-talking kind.
To be charming is to be attentive, and authentic in how you interact with people, connecting with others, and to have people leave you feeling better than before you.
And because I know you’re thinking it - yes, you can be awkward yet charming.
I would like to present Exhibit A - Jennifer Lawrence.
Be charitable
A core value in the South is to treat others as you’d like to be treated without expectations.
You’ll see people lend a hand to complete strangers and refuse anything beyond a thank you.
Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet, after all.
So be charitable with your thoughts, interactions, time, and other resources. And do so without expectation of anything in return.
Adapt to Guest Preferences
It’s proper in Southern hospitality to offer a visitor a drink. Though you may prefer a sweet tea, you wouldn’t presume to give that to your guest without asking them their preference.
In your business, there are some areas where you have to be rigid to get the job done. In areas you can be flexible, adapt to your customer’s preferences - they’ll be grateful for it and more likely to come back.
Don’t forget the aftercare
Don’t take the “wham, bam, thank you, ma’am” approach to your customers.
--> Follow up with people who were interested but haven’t followed through yet.
--> Follow up with customers who bought your service before but haven’t been back in a while.
--> Follow up with customers after you’ve completed a service with them to make sure they’re happy.
When you follow up, you might discover ways to take their satisfaction to new heights or find issues that you need to address.
Great customer experiences make people feel respected, understood, and excited to come back for round two.
THE BIG TAKEAWAY
Great customer experiences are rooted in your ability to build relationships, communicate effectively, and make people feel valued. Whether you’re sipping sweet tea on a porch with a neighbor or playing swapsies with your neighbors at a party, the common thread is creating an environment where everyone feels welcome, respected, and like they matter.
When you’re good at the service you provide, you can set your prices higher. But if you’re good at what you do and customers enjoy the experience, they’ll be happy to pay more and become a raving fan.
So set clear boundaries, foster connection, and always follow through. Whether it’s a porch swing or a playroom, what truly matters is how you make people feel—and that’s what keeps them coming back.
Swings optional. 🤭